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Week beginning 23rd February 2009 (27/02/2009 07:21:05 AM)

60cbeb2a968b4abb9ed35a7105ff5c74_504Hi All,

I know it's not the end of the week yet, but I figure it's about time I post something to try and keep up to date with blogging. The truth is; I've not been myself over the last few weeks. Maybe something to do with the bush fires, maybe something to do with stress, maybe it's just guilt - I don't know. I just feel ... terrible.

I suppose it really boils down to the recent events in the world and how they're effecting me. For instance; before Christmas, I had a full schedule to keep me on my toes. Of course, I wasn't particuarly pleasant in the latter half of 2008 - but I was working 4 days a week, University 2 days a week, and a particular assignment on the "day off" a week. Now I'm pulling a 1.5 hour shift at one workplace during the week and getting a relatively good shift at my other workplace where the roles have really reversed. I can't say I'm impressed with the way my primary work is going (that is; give everyone an even distribution of shifts irrespective of if they are emergencies, trained up suitably etc...), but that's their decision and this gives me a new reason to source a job as soon as possible.

Job Hunting has been slow, very very slow. I've applied for a handful of positions, not too many and no real bites yet. So I'm going to scale up the job hunt next week as lack of money, running around with the lack of money and well - living in the area at the moment is pretty draining.

This year more than ever, my 21st birthday has been and gone without really doing anything for it. That is; it came - it happened (sort of) and it's now gone. Not that I'm worried about having a party (since when am I ever anyway???), but for it to really just drift past with everything happening may be an indication of things to come. I'm not in the mood for a party, nor am I really caring at this stage - might do something next year to make up for it, but yeah.

So what could be getting at me for guilt? I don't know really - I'm doing what I can without really pushing me over the line, and maybe starting to really get annoyed with the amount of donations requested for the same charity where-ever I go. Saying no to these people gets a long hard stare from the requestor, in particular at Flinders Street Station the other day. I do my bit to help, unfortunately I can't keep putting money in boxes for each and every person who requests money. I've made a sizable donation in total already (that figure will remain undisclosed, and the reason it's relatively high is I expect to have to pay back tax this year). So why guilt? I really don't know.

Moving out will be next on the agenda after getting a job. I have a feeling maybe it's independence I need rather than having to deal with coming home to the tiniest of room that just keeps getting piled up (I seriously have a stack of things infront of my PC screen - thus haven't used it in the last few days). So when I move out, I trust one less stress will be there in regards to coming home only having to spend 2-3 hours searching / moving stuff to do something.

My entrepreneurial skills are being utilised at the moment with a few business ideas and plans becoming properly written up and bound, although I suspect that these are still a few years off persuing some of these business ideas. They range from retail chains through to consultancy firms and methods of rolling one out. At this stage, everything remains top secret (stored somewhere no one would ever look) until these ideas are realised (if they ever are).

I got a new keyboard finally! Yamaha PSR E413 to be precise. Nice little keyboard this is! It's a good mid-range keyboard suitable for a lot of different tasks such as performances and midi controlling. I've got everything with it (case, stand, pedal, USB Cable and Power Supply which yamaha now sell separately!!!), and it sounds pretty cool too! With my video camera and a good keyboard - I suspect I will be recording a few performances for YouTube to complement and replace existing ones. Anyone that has heard me play probably thinks I'm pretty terrible (which well, lets face it - the keyboards I have had don't do justice to myself), but after this keyboard sounding very real (i.e. the Grand Piano noise sounds too good to be a Grand Piano!!!) - I'm happy to report that my playing doesn't sound like a cat s***ing on a hot tin roof. So yeah, I suspect I will be playing a few things soon(ish) for recording purposes.

It also means that my FL Studio work should increase as the Midi controller works properly (no dodgey writing of driver hooks in VBScript or JScript for the other keyboard I had). It's now about time to look at an X-Fi sound card as well to write some of these instruments for midi into the card for a bit more remixing. Who knows, one day - a remix may end up on OCRemix after all!

Anyway, that's really all I have time for at the moment. Hopefully I get back on my feet soon - I've never felt not in control before quite like this. At least Monash have fixed up my Majors (Net Centric Computing and Security / Bachelor of Information Technology and Systems) on my transcript. So roll on job hunting!

- - Craig Mattson

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